Even Only
by Ka3na
Summary: Ryan and Summer forms a new relationship after the death of Marissa.
1. Chapter One: Assuring

Even Only

"The O.C."

Ryan Atwood & Summer Roberts

Fan Fiction

Written by

Kae / _"The O.C." is non mine._

**Chapter One: Assuring**

Ryan Atwood held onto her. He didn't even notice that her body began to feel frigid. Maybe it was the burning truck from a far that kept him warm, or something. He sat there and waited for her to open her eyes, as if it were one of those times that he would view Marissa Cooper simply sleeping. He smiled at the thought of her having a clear view of him, her face glowing with a smile, but that wasn't going to happen. Strangers surrounded him--- from the firefighters, cops and to the paramedics. They spoke to him, told him what they were about to do and questioned him about her. Finally, noises that came from the different vehicles that surrounded the scene slowly began to make its way within his earshot. "Sir! Sir," a paramedic exclaimed. "We need you to step away…"

It's been a month since Marissa Cooper died, with her body buried six feet under; it still wasn't real to him. The sun found its way towards Ryan's eyes. It didn't bother him; hence, he was already awake. He closed his eyes again. Then opened them. Ryan raised his arm up and used his hand to cover his view of the sun. He slowly clenched his fist; he looked at it for a second. He brought his hand back down to stop his tears from pouring down his face.

Summer Roberts found her way into Marissa's room. She sat down on the bed and looked around. She couldn't really find anything to remember her by, seeing that Kaitlin Cooper had already decorated the room with all of _her_ things.

"Hey," Julie Cooper stepped in.

"Hi," Summer looked at her and quickly turned away. "I'm trying to… just feel. Coop's presence. I… you know… remember. It was an actual goodbye…" Summer paused.

"Your last conversation?" Julie sat beside her.

"Yeah, but I didn't… I didn't get a single sense of… I had no idea it would be, like, an actual goodbye."

Julie turned and hugged her.

Seth Cohen knocked on the pool house door and walked in. "Hey, man."

Ryan quickly sat up. "Hey, what's up?" Ryan asked, getting up off the bed.

"Nothing. Um… you wanna go get a bite to eat?"

"Nah, man. I'm not really hungry right now. Maybe later?" Ryan grabbed his shoes and sat back down on the bed.

"You wanna go surf?" Seth pitched another idea.

"You know I never got into that," Ryan reminded him.

"Sail?"

"No. Look. Um…" Ryan got up.

"Where you going?" Seth asked, following Ryan out the door.

"Somewhere. I'm just…" Ryan hasn't been able to speak to anyone. He would always allow his words to trail and everybody else would just let it.

Ryan made his way through the kitchen. He grabbed the key for the car and quickly walked out the door.

"Ryan!" Seth yelled from behind.

Ryan got into the car and turned on the engine. "Seth!"

"Yeah, man?"

"Tell Sandy, I borrowed the car." Ryan quickly stepped on the gas and drove off the driveway.

Summer sat beside the pool. She took her sandals off and rested them aside, as she dipped her feet under the water. Using her hands to support herself, she leaned back. She looked up at the sky; then closed her eyes.

"_I can't believe I'm saying goodbye to you."_

"_I know."_

"_I love you so much."_

"_I love you too."_

"_You're my best friend forever, okay?"_

Summer quickly dove into the pool.

Ryan parked the car in front of the model home and made his way back to the pool. He took his pants and shoes off and dove in. Under water, he took his shirt off and continued swimming. He slowly swam toward Summer, who was slightly sitting on the ground, her eyes close and holding her breath. He lightly grabbed Summer by her shoulder. She suddenly opened her eyes.

They both swam back up.

"What the fuck, Ryan!" Summer exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked.

"What else do you think? Swimming," she said, pulling her hair back.

"You have your own pool," Ryan reminded her.

"So. You have your own pool house, which pretty much goes to show that you have your own pool… too!" Summer retorted.

"Seriously, what are you doing here?"

'Oh. My. Gosh. Have you been breaking in here?" Summer asked.

"No," Ryan answered.

"What is this, like, your tenth time?" Summer joked.

"No, more like…" Ryan let his words trail, as he stepped out of the pool. He held out his hand and helped Summer out.

"Thanks," Summer said holding onto his hand. "How have you been Ryan Atwood?"

"Okay. You?" Ryan said, not looking at her.

"Okay. Better… actually. I, uh, to answer your question actually, I just wanted to… remember. Her."

"That's right," Ryan paused and looked around. "This was the last place you spoke… with her."

"Yeah. Exactly."

"I'm sorry, Summer." Ryan looked at her.

"About what?" she turned to him.

"Her… you know? I, um… I'm sorry, I couldn't…"

"Please tell me you don't blame yourself, Atwood."

"If only…" he turned away.

"Ryan… Ryan, look at me," Summer said, placing her hand over his. He turned his attention to her. "You have nothing to be sorry about. What happened with Coop, it was an accident. There was nothing you could've done. It was that stupid assface, Volchack. Not you. The only thing you should be sorry about… well, pretty much those boxers. What are you, like, twelve?" Summer smiled.

"Thank you," Ryan smiled in return.

He's heard those words before, words that were suppose to help him, but didn't. But hearing them come out of Summer Robert's mouth, was more than assuring.


	2. Chapter Two: Just fine

Even Only

"The O.C."

Ryan Atwood & Summer Roberts

Fan Fiction

Written by

Kae / _"The O.C." is non mine._

**Chapter Two: Just fine**

It's been two months and eight days since Marissa Cooper died. It's been a week since Ryan Atwood left the Cohen's pool house. He had quickly taken the Cohen's offer to rent him an apartment at Berkeley. Ryan stepped out on the balcony and lit a cigarette. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the railing.

"_Who are you?"_

"_Whoever you want me to be."_

"_Okay. Can I bum a cigarette?"_

Summer Roberts kept her focus on the television set.

"Maybe that's what we'll do. What do you think?" Seth Cohen asked. He turned her to face him. "Summer?"

"Yeah? What? Yeah. Sure," Summer nodded.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Of course," Summer smiled.

"So… you'll ask your dad if it'll be okay if we lived together in an apartment," Seth repeated his thoughts.

"Will do," Summer got up.

"I'll see you tonight?" Seth said getting up.

"Yeah."

"Okay," Seth leaned forward and kissed her.

"Okay. I'll see you later," Summer had quickly pulled away.

Once she left, Seth grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

Ryan continued to throw the bouncy ball on the wall, Journey playing in the background. A knock on the door got him off the couch.

"Hey!" Ryan greeted.

"Hi… you okay?" Summer asked. She stepped in to find empty beer bottles lying around the living room. Before she said anything, she quickly hesitated and simply lowered the volume of the CD player down.

"So… how have you been?" Summer asked, sitting down.

"Good. Actually, yeah… great," Ryan sat back down.

"Sure you are," Summer forced a smile.

"You want?" he handed her an empty bottle.

"Thanks, but not tonight," Summer grabbed the bottle and placed it down on the table.

He got up and took Summer's hand. They walked outside on the balcony.

"Ryan…"

"Just watch," Ryan smiled, pointing his bottle at the sky.

"What?"

"The sunset," Ryan let go of her hand. They both rested their arms on the railing. They stood there for a couple of minutes and sat down.

"It's different," Summer smiled at Ryan.

Seth dialed Summer's cell phone but it directed him to her voicemail.

"Seth?" Sandy Cohen knocked on the door and stepped in. "Summer's still not back yet?"

"It's been two hours. I haven't heard from her either," Seth sat up. "We're leaving for Rhode Island in a couple of days and we haven't even finished talking about our living arrangement."

"You're gonna have to give her time, son." Sandy said.

"For what?" Seth asked.

"She _just_ lost her best friend, Seth." Sandy reminded him.

"It's been like two months. I'm sorry. I can't feel the way she's feeling. I'm trying here, but she's got this wall… I can't get through and I just don't want to…"

"Don't want to what?" Sandy quickly questioned his son.

Summer sat beside Ryan, who was lying back down on his bed.

"You're always here," Ryan pointed out.

"Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days," Summer smiled taking the beer bottle from his hand.

"Don't say that. That that's really not funny," Ryan's words slurred a bit.

"I'm leaving for Rhode Island, Ryan. You know that."

"No…"

"I have to go. Just promise me that you'll stop drinking," Summer touched his hand.

"If that'll make you stay," Ryan closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Sandy repeated his question.

"I love her. I do. But I just can't deal with this. I know you think I'm selfish and maybe I am…"

Sandy stood up and looked down on his son. "Just make sure you're fair to her. You let her know before you guys even step inside that airport," Sandy told his son and walked out of his bedroom.

Summer began to pack her suitcases, while Seth had already finished up packing up his own.

"Do you need any help?" Seth spoke from the other end of the phone line.

"No. I'm good. Kaitlin will gladly help me out. I'll see you at… two?" Summer asked.

"Okay. I love you," Seth said.

"Love you. Bye," Summer hung up the phone.

Seth walked over to Ryan.

"I haven't seen you. You've been doing okay?" Seth asked Ryan.

"Yeah. In control," Ryan smiled.

"Sorry I haven't checked up," Seth sat down.

"Not your job, man."

"Yeah. I know."

Summer made her way over to Kaitlin Cooper's room.

"Hey!" Kaitlin got up off her bed.

"What the fuck have you been smoking now?" Summer sat on her bed.

"Nothing. Nothing," Kaitlin sat beside her. "So, you're leaving today?"

"Yeah. I am."

"I thought so," Kaitlin scoffed.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Summer stood up.

"Nothing. Just go. I'm used to it. Everyone leaves."

"It's college, Kaitlin. As much as I don't want to leave…" Summer tried to explain.

"Whatever," Kaitlin lied down.

Summer lied down next to her and they both looked up at the ceiling.


End file.
